Top Ten Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Accountant

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David Letterman’s Top Ten List for March 15, 1994:
Top Ten Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Accountant:

10. Asks you how many monies you made this year.
9. The calculator he’s been adding numbers on is actually a TV remote control.
8. What he calls “tax forms,” most people call “paper hats.”
7. Accompanies you to your audit wearing a giant bunny suit.
6. Takes you aside and whispers, “Between you, me, and the lamppost – a nine’s more or less the same thing as a six, right?”
5. When filling out your form, asks, “What color crayon should I use?”
4. You recognize him as the guy who ‘Horshack’ on “Welcome Back, Kotter.”
3. Repeatedly grabs himself and says, “Deduct this, am I right?”
2. Tells you that strangers living in your house can be declared as dependents.
1. His only other client: Willie Nelson

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