David Letterman’s Top Ten List for April 10, 1995:
Top Ten Signs You’ve Hired a Bad Accountant:
10. You hear him on the phone saying, “Have I ever let you down, Leona?”
9. Instead of IRS, sends your completed tax return to UPS.
8. His “short form” looks suspiciously like a cocktail napkin.
7. He lets you list your imaginary friend as a dependent.
6. Lists every time you laughed at Letterman as “charitable donation.”
5. Used to be some kind of financial big-shot in Orange County.
4. Announced he donated all your assets to O.J.’s defense fund.
3. On the 1040, he lists your occupation as “sucker.”
2. At least five times, he says “here’s a little trick I taught Darryl Strawberry.”
1. He makes you wear a hospital gown.